Thursday, February 24, 2005

God, People Are Disgusting

That's it. That's really all I have to say. They slobber all over themselves, breathe like dying wildebeest, have boils all over their skin, reek like halitosis and decay, are hirsute beyond comprehension, and worst of all, WILL NOT LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE. STOP IT. STOP BEING DISGUSTING. YOU PEOPLE HAVE HEPATITIS C AND GIVE ME NIGHTMARES. YOU DISGUST ME AND I HAVE THE STRENGTH OF SEVEN MEN WHEN I AM ANGRY.


Blogger beetlebreakfast said...

I'm serious. I really, really, really hate everyone I see. No one will hire me because my only marketable skill is that my bowel control is operating at 90% capacity, and suicide is unrealistic because I don't want to stick my roommate with the rent.

Which is why I've become a grave-robber. I think we can all see the connection.

7:16 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

God who ARE you??!! Pleeeease give some hints.

3:10 am  
Blogger beetlebreakfast said...

Bigger than a breadbox. If you get my meaning.

(I'm hung like a small compartment in which you would store baked goods.)

9:31 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hehe. that's from the office. i LOVE the office.

2:51 am  
Blogger beetlebreakfast said...

That's too bad. Well thank god I'm no longer under any illusions of originality.

4:16 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

can i bear your children?

8:30 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

But it's my pocketbook

10:45 pm  
Blogger james said...

I find humans very disgusting. I have this love/hate relationship with poop. I poop too much but you can't really stop poop from coming out (unless you want to explode...hmmm, now there's a thought). I hate poop because it sticks and it sticks all over everything. Grrrrr!!! DOWN WITH POOP!!!

10:01 pm  
Anonymous staph said...

Hi there beetlebreakfast, I had been out looking for some new information on carbuncle when I found your site and God, People Are Disgusting. Though not just what I was searching for, it drew my attention. An interesting post and I thank you for it.

1:01 am  
Anonymous carbuncle said...

Hi beetlebreakfast, Out surfing for information on carbuncles & happened upon your site. While God, People Are Disgusting wasn't exactly spot on, it did strike a note with me. Thank you for the really good read.

1:04 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hate the Strand and I hate the shipping, pseudopoet, manager who was the hitman for the b-asses. He threatened employees, lorded over them like the shipping department was his fiefdom and the b-asses the lords of the manor. He fired me because Fancy Ass told him to. The irony - Fancy Ass fired him. Theirs justice in the uni-verse, the crass uni-verse he writes.

8:08 pm  

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